A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"
The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'take what you want!'"
The first nerd nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side.
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