Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish... in Russian.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Chuck Norris recently tried a pogo stick for the first time... the recovery effort continues in Haiti.
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