Yo Mama's so fat, Christopher Columbus claimed her as the new world.
Yo Mama's so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits!
Yo Mama's so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl.
A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer...... and some of those peanuts." The bartender asked, "Why the big pause?"
A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? Big hands!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W - H - O.
How do you sink a Polish battleship? Put it in water.
A man walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "Hey, have you heard the latest Polack joke?" The bartender replied, coldly, "No. And I'll have you know I'm Polish." That's O.K.," said the man, "I'll talk slow."
About a month ago, I got a cactus, and a week later, it died. I got really depressed because I was like, damn, I am less nurturing than a desert.
