Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
A Polish man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets.
"You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?" asked one of the muggers incredulously. "Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Pole. "I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!"
My friend is a heroine addict. He needs to sleep with women who have saved someone's life before.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
